


My Body's a Zombie for You

by WarriorBeeoftheSea



Series: Carry On Countdown 2019 [12]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Carry On Countdown (Simon Snow), DEC 06 - Song / Music Inspired, Depression, M/M, Post-Book 2: Wayward Son, Slow Dancing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:54:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21667003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WarriorBeeoftheSea/pseuds/WarriorBeeoftheSea
Summary: “Come here.” I pull away and stand. His tail unwinds from my arm. “Get out of bed, and come here.”
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: Carry On Countdown 2019 [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1557757
Comments: 7
Kudos: 127
Collections: Carry On Countdown 2019





	My Body's a Zombie for You

**Author's Note:**

> Please listen to the song this fic is inspired by:
> 
> [ My Body's a Zombie for You - Dead Man's Bones](https://youtu.be/to7PxdyEdDw)

When I get to the flat I know it’s a bad day. There are good days and bad days now. And the bad days are really bad.

Penny waves me in at the door. “He’s in bed.” I nod, and hang my coat before I go to Simon’s room.

“Snow, can I come in?” I knock softly on the door, even though it’s standing a little bit open. Sometimes on bad days he's like a scared animal.

“Baz.” He breathes out my name like it has meaning, and I wish I knew what it was. I step into his room, hoping to find out.

Simon is a mess. He’s sitting in bed, the covers drawn up around him, and I can tell he hasn’t left the flat all day. He’s got that staleness about him. (At least he doesn’t reek of cider.)

I sit on the edge of his bed, and his tail lashes itself around my forearm.

“Sorry.” He blushes and looks down at his hands in his lap.

I stroke the tail with my free hand. “Don’t be.”

He smiles wryly at me. “I’ve just spent the day falling down a Youtube rabbit hole.” He turns the screen of his laptop towards me. “It’s been a waste of a day, honestly.” He closes the screen, lets his voice fade to a whisper. “I’ve been a waste.”

I reach for his hand. “Remember that your therapist said it’s alright to have bad days.”

He frowns, but lets me twine my fingers with his. “That’s bollocks. The whole thing is bollocks.” (I know he’s not serious.) “I should be able to just, I dunno, slash at the bad days with my sword. I’m a badass hero, aren’t I?” The corners of his lips start to turn up.

I smile, and raise his hand to my lips for a kiss. “I don’t know if I’d go as far as _badass_ , Snow. You are wearing pyjamas with sheep on them.”

He laughs, and scoots closer to me. He presses his forehead to my shoulder. “Baz, I didn’t shower today. And I only ate crackers and toast.”

I turn my head and kiss his hair. “Did you drink water?”

He sighs. “This is pathetic. _I’m_ pathetic.”

I release his hand and tip his chin up to look into his eyes. “It’s alright to be pathetic, though.” He laughs a watery laugh and presses his forehead to my shoulder again, hiding his eyes.

“Come here.” I pull away and stand. His tail unwinds from my arm. “Get out of bed, and come here.”

He whines, but follows me. His wings flex behind him, and I know they must feel cramped. I reach out and run my hand over the edge of one, and feel it stretch against my hand.

“Come here,” I say again, and he rolls his eyes, but steps closer.

I pull my phone from my pocket and queue up a slow song. I put it down and take his hand. “Come here.”

He lets me draw him close, but his steps are stumbling and awkward, like he's still resisting. "What are you doing?"

I slide an arm around his waist, and hold our joined hands between us. "We're dancing, Snow." I start to sway.

He sighs and hooks his other arm over my shoulder, resting his fingers gently against my neck. He follows my slow sway, and closes his eyes. I pull him closer to me, closer than when we danced at the Leavers Ball. I lean down into him, and his cheek brushes my jaw. I close my eyes too, and we just move together.

_I can't fit in this skin_

_It's worn and useless thin_

_The size of the eyes_

_And the flies in the sky_

_Make it hard to see to the end_

Simon sighs against my neck and pulls his hand from mine to loop over my other shoulder. I wrap my arm around his waist, pressing both palms against the thin fabric of his ratty t-shirt. We're pressed flush against each other now.

 _Crowley,_ I am so in love it hurts.

The song's chorus starts playing.

_My body's a zombie for you_

Simon draws back to look at me. "What? Baz, what is this song?"

I pull him close again and hush him. "Quiet, Snow. I'm trying to be romantic."

He snorts, but melts into my arms and sways with me. "It's a weird song, is all," he murmurs into my neck, and I just hum in answer.

_The smell of my breath_

_From the blood in your neck_

_I hold my soul_

_From the lands unknown_

_So I can play the strings of your death_

"It's right morbid, innit?" Simon leans in even closer, and I can feel his breath warm against my neck.

"Yeah, well, that's the literal interpretation, of course, but there's more to it."

_My body's a zombie for you_

"Hm?" He's waiting for me to go on. It feels like he's rubbing life into my heart, warming it with his palms. All he's doing is dancing with me in his room.

"I think... it makes me think of love that's bone-deep. That persists underneath everything. Like, if you strip away everything I am, my body still aches for you." I feel my face start to flush.

He turns his head to press a kiss to my face. "Would your bones still know how to love me if I lost everything I am?"

I'm afraid to say anything, or the tears might come, so I just nod. But then I take a breath. "Always. On bad days and good."


End file.
